Melt
by Sombereyes
Summary: A Christmas themed Mai HiME tale. Mostly really fluffy Shiz/nat...Tiny bit of Nao/Mai as well.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: It's December, the season of giving is upon us, and no matter what occasion you celebrate, I hope you have a good one. I happen to celebrate Christmas and in the spirit of the season, this is the second year in a row that you'll be getting a holiday themed fan fiction because of it. You see, counting down the days of Christmas, I started doing little snippets all over the place, and uhh... it sort of turned into this...so, I thought I would post them up here. Sorry, they don't come gift wrapped, nor was there any prior planning involved with any of this. Any life that this story has built, it built up of it's own accord.

This is my entry for the 1st of December.

I do not own Mai HiME.

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**December 1****st**

Natsuki jumped up when her alarm rang in her ears. Grumbling, she all but tossed the clock into the wall, not minding when the ringing bells chimed one final time in agony. With her best friend humming away in the shower, Mikoto had somehow found her way into Natsuki's bed. "Get off." Natsuki groused, having discovered the reason her bed was much warmer than usual. She flipped the younger girl over, and then slip out of bed, tossing her blankets over the still snoozing teen as she did so. Natsuki had a few hours before school started, and so, she took to her newest hobby, grabbing her notebook that she'd hidden between the bed, and the wall.

Shizuru, as always, was her inspiration.

Flipping to an empty page, she began. _The high today will be in the middle fifties, and the low will probably reach down into the forties. Mostly cloudy weather patterns means it's not an entirely a good night to take Shizuru out for a stroll. That kinda sucks, actually. Shizuru loves going for walks at night, especially when the cold air encourages people to walk just a little closer than they might otherwise. She says it's because she likes it when I let her lean into me._

Nervously, Natsuki looked up from her book, eying Mikoto wearily, and then, she glanced back to the closed bathroom door. _I'm not entirely used to that yet, or holding her hand as I slip it into my pocket._ Natsuki sighed and scratched her head. _I can't do that now, can I?_ It was then that her pencil broke.

She had to go get another one, but held her notebook to her chest as she went over to the desk she shared with Mai. Unsure of when the carrot top might be finished with her morning routine, Natsuki considered leaving the room. There was no place she could hide, no place warm, anyway. Grabbing the top blanket from her bed, she wrapped herself in it, sitting in the corner of the room so she wouldn't be seen. _It's just, what excuse can I use, when there's no stars out to look at?_ She began to write again, her fingers trembling. _Shizuru's the kind of person that doesn't need one, but, it's weird otherwise._

The entire thought had her hand sweating nervously, knowing she had no way to explain the fluttering in her chest at such a thing. _That's half of my plan ruined, but maybe I can make up for it by picking up a movie...it's just that Shizuru's not really fond of movies. My original plan, that has now been dashed to hell, was to show up at her house around dinner time, and help her cook. Then I thought we could see where things went from there. I was planning a late night stroll, and then maybe staying over...I guess, I'll just have to figure something else out._

The truth was, she didn't much like where her mind was headed, nor her heart. _I really should cook dinner with her though. _Thankfully, she hadn't much time to linger on the topic. Natsuki swallowed hard, and closed the book abruptly when Mai came out from hiding, her bath towel still perched around her neck.

"Geez Natsuki...It's just me." Mai said holding her hands up in mock surrender. "No need to be so jumpy."

"Whatever." Natsuki brushed it off, sliding her book in the bag she took to school every day. "Do me a favor, start taking your pet with you in the bath every morning."

Mai smiled at that, knowing Natsuki didn't mind nearly as much as she insisted that she did. It was just one of the many hazards that came with sharing this particular dorm room. "Mikoto doesn't mean anything by it." Mai shrugged, knowing that Mikoto would snuggle into anything and everything on cold mornings. "You want breakfast?"

"Not really." Natsuki muttered after grabbing her clothes. "I'm just going to wash up and head to class. I've got stuff to do."

What Natsuki didn't say, rather what she refused to divulge, was that she wasn't busy at all. That's what bothered her the most. Going to class early, she was in the room before anyone else. The lights were still off, but she found that the windows offered more than enough. Before anyone could bother her again, she pulled out her notebook. _Cooking together...well, that's more for her sake than mine...I don't mind eating packaged foods, but she needs the time with me right now. We're both still in that weird phase, I think. I'm trying to figure out how to be in a relationship, and she's trying to figure out how to believe me...she never expected I'd want this sort of thing...with her of all people. She needs me to be around a lot. The cooking lessons are part of that. I've come a long way since that failed home economics course, but, I'm not really using the skills when I'm by myself._ At that, Natsuki smirked, it really was useless to her, more or less. _I'd never tell her that. Shizuru's the kind of person that deserves to be happy._

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That's chapter one...more updates coming soon.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Day number two. Much shorter, but I didn't have much time to play with it.

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**December 2****nd**

"I think there's a lot of things she holds back." Natsuki said to Mai conversationally that afternoon over lunch. "I try not to worry about it all that much." She tapped her fingers on the blanket that cover the ground, a bored look over to the field told her that Mikoto was already getting cold, though she refused to admit it as she built a snowman with Alyssa and Miyu. "If Shizuru wanted me to know in the first place, she would tell me."

"Why do you think she holds back?" Mai asked, still quite unsure of that reason herself. "You guys have come a long way, you'd think she'd trust that you were telling the truth by now."

Natsuki shook her head. "That's like asking how the hell you can get Nao to actually stay in class every day."

"She does it because she wants to." Mai told Natsuki with a small hint of annoyance. "I don't have to force her into anything...well, not usually, anyway." It was then, a less than savory thought came to mind. "You don't think she has something to hide, do you?"

"Nah, Shizuru's not doing it because she's being suspicious." It took Natsuki another rice ball and several long moments before she was willing to give into the look that Mai was giving her. "I know she does it to make it easier on me."

"Then, what part of it doesn't?" Mai wondered that, just as she often wondered about Natsuki's resistances, and how easily Shizuru could break them down. Natsuki wasn't nearly as cold as she liked to seem, but even so, she was by no means an easy person to get along with.

"The flower thing." Natsuki muttered.

"I'm telling you, Natsuki, it's fool proof." Mai sighed, having figured out that butterflies were making havoc in Natsuki's belly yet again. "What girl doesn't like getting flowers?"

"You're looking at one." Natsuki muttered through gritted teeth before realizing she was letting her objection overtake her. "Anyway, don't you think that's overdoing it?"

"They're flowers Natsuki." Mai protested, having thought this conversation was long since over with. "Not a wedding ring."

"Flowers always seem to get me into trouble with Shizuru." Natsuki just shrugged.

"Just what is that supposed to mean?" The cryptic message was lost on Mai.

Natsuki intended to keep it that way, and averted the question easily. "It doesn't come naturally to me, I know I'll feel more than just a little stupid." She could see her point was flying right over Mai's whimsical head, and Natsuki just rolled her eyes. "I'm mean, they're flowers...it's the most pointless gift a person could even think of. Normally, I try to show Shizuru I care about her by leaving texts on her phone randomly, or sometimes, I'll show up on my bike after her classes and take her to lunch. I like doing those kinds of things...they make sense to me."

"And flowers don't make sense?" Mai asked, a bit confused at her friend's logic, but didn't dare to comment otherwise.

"It just seems like it's so overdone, you know?" Natsuki had to drown her blush by gulping down her drink, especially when she could see that Mai wasn't getting it. "It's just so damn typical."

"For everyone else, maybe." Mai told Natsuki as she crossed her arms. "But it isn't typical for you."

"Because it's stupid!" Natsuki ranted. "I wanted to do something nice for her but...well, it's Shizuru!" She slapped her hands together as if that had been the most obvious thing in the world. "You don't expect to bring flowers to her door like some normal person, because she's anything but that!"

"Uh huh." Mai nodded. "We've established that part, the question is, what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know." Natsuki toyed with the top to her now emptied sport drink, looking at the blue colored droplets that clung to the clear plastic. "Maybe I'm pushing myself harder than I realize." As long as she didn't have to look at Mai, she could be just a little more open. "Maybe flowers would be okay, just like you say it would be...even so, it just doesn't seem right somehow." Realizing whatever answer she wanted to find would not be found there, she tossed it towards the trash can, making a perfect three point shot. "It's our first Christmas as a couple, so, I really wanted to make it special for her."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Day three of writing...I don't own Mai HiME.

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**December 3****rd**

The high for that afternoon was in the middle fifties, but, it had plummeted by nightfall. With the dark clouds casting shadows and the moon rising high, Natsuki had taken her bike, zooming through the icy streets with care. For once in her life, she actually followed most of the laws. She didn't even run stoplights like she normally would. With delicate flowers in hand, she hadn't dared to go over the speed limit either, not even when a few of the slower drivers made her grumble under her breath. Her short commute had taken her across town, where Shizuru lived.

Now that she was in front of the small, but comfortable home, she couldn't help but notice just how nippy the air was. She was thankful for it, because it would give her an excuse to allow her face to flush at the mere thought of the woman inside. She could hear the faint sounds of music, could feel the warmth that was safely tucked away, waiting for her. She wondered just how many people would be gifted this opportunity in their lifetime. How many friends or family members would step up to this door, and question the very logic that came along with the sight that Natsuki knew she was presenting.

That answer was that likely, no one else would ever feel such a thing...

_I have no idea why girls like these..._ Natsuki frowned in thought, taking one last sniff of the bouquet she held in her hand. _They're not even practical. _She fumbled about with paper they were wrapped in, trying to fluff it just a little bit. Then she knocked on the door. As soon as she did, her heart became jittery, just as it always seemed to do. The thick door made of mahogany opened slowly, Shizuru's smile was the first thing Natsuki noticed. A greeting fell on deaf ears, though Natsuki went through the motions as nervously as she always seemed to do. "Hey." She held out the flowers, a shy smirk dancing on her lips.

It was yet another unexpected first that took Shizuru by complete surprise, as Mai had guessed it would. "Natsuki, they're beautiful." She all but tugged Natsuki inside, the door closing firmly as she leaned into it, pulling Natsuki to her. "Do they come with a kiss?" She asked, putting the flowers on the end table, far more eager to greet the woman of midnight tresses.

It was with a soft, yet not unhappy stare that Natsuki met Shizuru's gaze. "Hmm." It was a soft, uneasy admittance. Natsuki's fingers tangled into fawn tresses, toying with the silky stands, trying to work up her nerve. It wasn't so easy when it wasn't in the heat of the moment. When her mind was on overdrive, or when Shizuru desperately needed that reassurance, Natsuki hadn't any trouble with affection. Times like this however, were far different. What to do eluded her, her mind as well as her pride seemed to cut off her baser instincts at the pass. "You know I'm not good at that."

"Yes, you are." Shizuru murmured, she leaned into Natsuki's cold hand when it cupped her cheek. "Do I need to reenforce Natsuki's confidence?"

"If you do that, I'll end up with marks in places that will get me teased." Natsuki sighed flatly. She leaned in, using her free hand to brace the door. Trying to allow herself to just get caught up in the moment, something that was always hard to do, she let her eyes slip closed. She began by pressing her lips to Shizuru's gently, and pulling away as soon as her cheeks flushed a red color as a result. "See?!" She growled pointing to her face. "I can't even do something as simple as that without looking dumb."

"Beautiful." Shizuru laughed as she shook her head.

"Huh?" It was the only reply Natsuki could utter, too flustered to come up with something more intelligent. "Yeah...if you say so." She looked away.

"You're beautiful, Natsuki." She wrapped her arms around Natsuki's neck, her finger drawing circles on Natsuki's shoulders. "You don't have to worry so much." It was very new to Natsuki, and also very off putting, Shizuru was sure. It wasn't as if just anyone could get into Natsuki's personal space and remain unscathed. It was even more a shock to Natsuki's system, because she was unused to turning the tables, something that Shizuru seemed to be trying to encourage more and more in the passing weeks. "I quite like the way my Natsuki kisses."

Natsuki glared, but it wasn't one that was angry, though from an outsiders perspective, it might have seemed so. Instead it was deep, drenched in thoughts that were not entirely formed yet, and likely would never be. Unanswered questions were Natsuki's favorite to think upon, but such a face was not something so difficult to come by. This was likely a tiny thing, unimportant beyond the moment. Yet, it was the moment that spoke of everything. "Your Natsuki thinks she sucks at it."

"Then perhaps I should tutor her in other things besides cooking." Shizuru suggested, only earning a sigh at her remark.

"I'm not kidding." Natsuki mumbled then, her hand reaching out to cup Shizuru's face, her thumb playing with that smooth lower lip. "I'm not good at this." She leaned in anyway, taking Shizuru's lips in another heated sigh, trying to relax, easing the stiffness out of her shoulders as she did so. The woman she embraced was warm, and the mere thought sent a chill down Natsuki's spine. It was when Shizuru's ever wandering hands slipped into her jacket that Natsuki pulled away, her face coloring pink again. "It isn't nice to tease." Natsuki muttered into Shizuru's ear.

"No, I should say it isn't." Shizuru agreed. Still, she took Natsuki's hand in hers leading them to the kitchen. "Let me put these in water, then we can get started on dinner." It was these small luxuries that Shizuru thrived on the most, knowing how much effort it took to even get that much. Still, as they went into the kitchen, Natsuki gave Shizuru's hand a gentle squeeze. It was true, Natsuki might not have been the most romantic person on the planet, but, her heart was more than enough to make up for it.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Mai/Nao in this chapter...well, mostly.

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**December 4****th**

"You've got to be joking." Mai sat on her bed holding her pillow to her face. "A love motel, really?" She refused to believe it. "You must be joking."

"The hell I am!" Nao cackled in glee. "Really, Mai, you should hang around the gossip tables more often." Then after some thought, she shrugged with her perverse smirk still plastered across her face. "Ask Chie tomorrow at school, I'm sure she'll have heard all about it by then."

"Don't by into it, Mai." Natsuki muttered, playing a video game on her laptop, only half listening to the story. "There's no way Yukino would go to a place like that...not with Haruka of all people."

"Hey, you're the one that practically heard Yukino spilling her guts out." Nao noted, the unpleasant event causing Natsuki to roll her eyes. Nao pushed on anyway. "She's had the hots for Haruka for a long time. I say, good for them...Haruka's so wound up, she could use a good lay or two."

"Oh lord." Natsuki shuttered, willing away the disturbing image. "Jackass!" One of her pillows went for Nao's head in reply.

"Natsuki!" Mai scolded her upon impact. "You know better."

"You do too." Natsuki growled, returning to her game. "Regardless of how they feel for each other, that wouldn't happen." She couldn't believe she was being dragged into this discussion, but as long as she was, she would go on the defensive for modesty's sake. "Haruka feels strongly about doing that kind of thing, and besides that, she couldn't risk it."

"Well, she did Natsuki." Nao told her. "Big time, in fact. I hear she's being disowned."

"You are so full of crap." Natsuki told her. "Nao, think about it. Shizuru and Haruka may not seem like it, but really, they're good friends on some level." On just what level that was, Natsuki had yet to figure it out, and she hadn't particularly tried to either. She turned to Mai with a simple shrug. "If anything like that was happening, Shizuru would be one of the first to know, and that would make me a fairly close second."

"This from another one who needs a good lay." Nao said, looking to Mai with a raised eyebrow.

Natsuki didn't want to think about it anymore, and closed down her computer. "I'm going out." She groused, leaving as soon as she zipped up her leathers.

Nao looked to Mai with a smirk. "She can't handle the truth very well, can she?"

"It doesn't help that you provoke her." Mai smiled, shaking her head. "Really Nao, why do you try to get under her skin all the time."

"It's the only way you'll let me get anywhere near you." Nao told her, pushing Mai gently to have her lay down. "I don't think Natsuki would give a shit what we do."

"She cares a lot, actually." Mai said, toying with the short red locks of hair on Nao's head. "Besides, I don't really know how to go about explaining this." Mai sighed, still caught between that complicated stage of figuring herself out, and accepting one thing after another. "Takumi's coming home soon, and I don't think this will be what he wants to hear." Even if he was alright with it, however, there was still the matter of Tate, who was, more or less, an uncertainty in her life. She couldn't be as open with him, she soon discovered, even if she loved him.

She could say almost anything to Nao, and even though the redhead was aloof, she was far more willing to take things at face value. That was something Mai wanted, so much in fact, she'd forgotten what it felt like. It was nice not having to explain every little detail that complicated her life. "You really aren't sure of this yourself yet, are you?"

"If you haven't noticed, I do what I want, when I want." Lime green eyes softened at that, seeing the conflict that Mai didn't know how to deal with. Nao hated to admit that she felt the same. "My mom just woke up, Mai." Nao said then, looking down at the bedsheets, and resting herself over Mai. Using the girl's breasts as a pillow, she let down her guard just a little. "It's good to have her back, but things aren't like they used to be." She held Mai's hand in her own, playing with her fingertips, and sighing. "I can't talk to her, not about this kind of thing. I want to, but I just can't promise anything...not unless I know for sure...and I just don't."

…

Natsuki hadn't wanted to admit it, but Nao had poked at a sore spot. It wasn't a topic she was ready to broach, not even with Shizuru, who would toss little hints and teases all the time. She didn't even like to think about it, but, Nao's words had cut to the core. More so, it was the fact that Nao would be willing to go to that distance, if she ever wanted to. Natsuki was unsure of just how far her emotional strength could go, and wondered for not the first time, if Shizuru truly understood that.

The concept of going beyond kissing was just beginning to sound amusing, but it was merely something Natsuki toyed with in her head. She didn't dare air it to anyone, especially not Shizuru who would ultimately try to take things further than Natsuki felt ready to go. Still, as she sat with Shizuru, a cup of tea in hand, Natsuki reminded herself that it wasn't any concern, at least, not yet. "Anyway, Nao's stupidity had me worried that Haruka did get disowned." Natsuki had dryly explained all that she had heard, but pointedly left out some of the more bothersome details. "Why Nao has to go sticking her nose into other people's stuff like that is beyond me. I really don't get what Mai sees in her."

Shizuru frowned a that. "Quite a bit, I would presume." If she knew one thing, it was that Natsuki was dangerously protective, though, not at all possessive. "While I wouldn't say that I'm fond of her myself, one could say Nao has several redeeming qualities. I'd like to think she'll mellow out in a few years, after she finds someone she can confide in." Then she took a sip of tea, finding Natsuki's gaze lock with her own. "You once said it yourself, after all...you could have become some version of her, so pained and utterly at a loss of what to do with yourself."

Natsuki pushed her hair over her shoulder with a flick. "Nao pisses me off because I know that." Natsuki told Shizuru then. "That's what bothers me about Mai." Natsuki couldn't help it. Her face contorted into an uncomfortable frown. "I don't want Nao doing to Mai the same crap that I did to you."

"You shouldn't." Shizuru said, putting her hand over Natsuki's knee to calm her. "Nao is far more brazen than you are, though, it often times works against her, and not for her." Scooting closer to Natsuki's side, she bit her lower lip just a little, thinking hard about how to phrase what she wanted to say. There was no good way to do it, and so, she let it spill out, come what may of it. "If I were you, Natsuki, if I were to worry at all, it would be for Nao."

"What?" That floored her. "Why?" Natsuki asked, thoroughly confused. "Nao's a little pissant on the best of days..."

"So you say, though you also defend her on the fly." Shizuru reminded Natsuki with a small smile. "In any case, Mai has a tendency to waver when it comes to matters of the heart. If that is not enough, Nao and I share one thing in common, and that's our inability to accept rejection well." While it was true, Shizuru had already traveled that murky water once, and had no intention to ever do it again, there were times she'd have dreams of it. She settled into Natsuki's embrace and sighed contently when those strong arms wrapped around her. "Mai should be careful with her, Nao's far more fragile than any of us truly give her credit for."

"I should have been more careful with you too." Natsuki rested her chin atop Shizuru's head.

"You're hardly a bull in a china shop." Shizuru said then with a small laugh. "I am the one with whom the ruckus usually starts."

"If you think that, you should see inside of my head one day." Natsuki mumbled. "Then, you'd beg to differ with that statement."

"Such a mess includes me, I assume?" Shizuru said, looking up into Natsuki's eyes, those stunning emerald orbs didn't lie. "So, does that not make me the bull?"

"Idiot." Natsuki groused, kissing Shizuru on the forehead with a sigh.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I told you this was starting to take on a life of it's own... December 5th-7th the idea derailed into something else entirely.

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**December 5th**

It was snowing, but not unpleasantly so. It was light, and wafted gently in the air, cool and crisp. Natsuki was thankful for that as she retrieved more wood for the fire before going back to Shizuru's embrace.

The morning was a bitter one, one so cold, the buses started late, meaning there was no school for most children, and that Shizuru's university classes were postponed. With nothing to do for most of the morning, Natsuki had expertly navigated the bitter chill to spend some time away from the dorms. Two hours changed to four hours, and before they knew it, they'd ended up skipping the day's classes entirely. Natsuki preferred to be lazy in cold weather anyway, and wasn't going to begrudge the warm tea and kicked back afternoon. She knew that was going to be coming to an end in a few short days. Exams were coming up, and Natsuki loathed the thought of them.

They made Shizuru nervous, and contemplative.

Shizuru wasn't a daft woman by far, but, she was generally easy going. She was a hard worker when the return was worth it...but, she was also just as quick to disregard it, if such a thing was a meaningless pursuit. She found these exams conflicted with her one most important need, her time with Natsuki. She wasn't about to say it, but she didn't need to. Natsuki knew, she could feel it in Shizuru's cuddliness. It was far more overt than normal, and was quite the concern due to the fact that Shizuru was a clingy woman by nature.

The near suffocating proximity, the way Shizuru refused to even send Natsuki to school today at all...even the way they dared not move from the flickering television screamed of it. The way they were laying on the sofa, Natsuki could feel every curve of Shizuru's body against hers, and spoke of trouble as well. She knew well enough what thoughts would run rampant in Shizuru's mind, and a few unsavory ones had popped up within the that few hours. One even seemed to linger, and try though Natsuki might to ignore it, she eventually conceded the fact that she couldn't. This downward spiral had to stop.

Shizuru was uneasy, and that made Natsuki an outright questionable force of bad habits.

Some of the worst of them included sleepless nights, lack of hunger, and simply just being aggressive by default. Her bad temper been flaring up in nasty ways as of late. Natsuki was withdrawing again, but at least the withdrawal was a mutual one. She knew it had Mai worried none the less, and even Nao had been careful not to press too many buttons. Still, Natsuki was a reasonable person, usually.

"Shizuru, it's just a week." Natsuki said when it all became too much for her to take. "If I don't ace these tests, then I can't graduate this semester, you know that." Inwardly they were both a wreck, and Natsuki couldn't stand it. "I want to be able to join you in the university's spring term, and I can't do that unless I test of of the next semester classes completely."

Shizuru sighed into Natsuki's shoulder. She knew that to be true, but even so, her gut turned at the mere thought of it. "I've got to study too, I know." Her classes in the university were advanced ones, and thus were much harder for Shizuru to keep up with. She couldn't ignore the study time like she could back in high school, as she belatedly learned when she bombed the first few tests she'd ever taken at the university. Even if they weren't difficult for her, they were by no means easy. "It is difficult for me to accept, Natsuki."

"Because I won't be here." Natsuki knew it, and it didn't sit well with her. "It'll only be a week...four days max, if I cut it close."

"Why risk your grades?" Shizuru said, almost appalled Natsuki would do something so foolish again. "That's your future you're toying with."

"Our future." Natsuki muttered, still trying to get Shizuru to understand such a concept. "I'm not willing to play games with it. That's why I have to study." Natsuki whispered into the crown of fawn tresses, pulling Shizuru into an embrace again. "I want you to be happy, grades be damned yet again, if they have to be."

"Natsuki, no." Shizuru said, her fingers tightening and grasping onto Natsuki's white sweater. "That's not it."

"It's part of it." Natsuki knew it was leading Shizuru down bad roads. "If there's another part, you should tell me."

"It's entirely foolish anyway." Shizuru said, unwilling to give an inch.

"And entirely my fault." Natsuki came to that conclusion on her own, earning another shake of Shizuru's head to deny the claim. "Don't try to protect me from myself, Shizuru. What did I do this time? Or rather, what haven't I done?"

"It isn't anything you've done or haven't done." Shizuru felt Natsuki's hand still at the admittance. "It's just little things, and they're quite unnecessary things to worry about anyway."

"Now I know something's my fault." Natsuki growled, aggravated at herself. "What?" Natsuki pressed, turning Shizuru's face gently so they could met eye to eye. "What's bugging you?"

"I doubt I could speak of it." Shizuru said, nibbling her lower lip as her own blush came to her cheeks.

"If you could?" Natsuki frowned, unsure what was running through Shizuru's head, but now even more unsure that she wanted to know. Her own guesses were bad enough, and she knew they only scratched the surface.

"I would." Shizuru said then softly. "But, I doubt I can...not this time."

Natsuki nodded slowly, knowing Shizuru got like that on occasion. It was a darker side to their relationship, and Natsuki didn't know quite what to do with it yet, besides leave it well enough alone. "Just one thing then." Still, she needed something to work with, because try though she might to ignore Shizuru's possessiveness, she knew it was there, and that wouldn't change. "Stop mentally trying to figure out how to tie me to the sofa." She saw the panic quickly, and the shame followed. "Hey, stop that too." Natsuki frowned grabbing hold of the woman before she could hide away under that mask of hers again.

"Natsuki, I'm-" She was silenced when Natsuki's hand fell over her mouth.

"Shut up." Natsuki said softly, shushing her. "If you say you're sorry, that only makes it more troublesome." Then she grabbed the television remote, handing it to the woman in her arms. "Here, find us something sappy to watch."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I had fun with this chapter...this will be the last update for tonight...I'm sleepy, I'll post more of my fictional tirade tomorrow after I'm done raiding in rift. GO RIFTGUARD! 4/4 TDQ, 9/9 T1 content, 2/4 GA, and Eggtenders are finally down as of Monday!

I do not own Mai HiME.

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**December 6th**

Her bed was soft, and warm. The sun lingered, peeking into the window, and although she felt as if she might be watched, she didn't mind. At first, she thought it was just her mind playing a trick on her, and she buried herself deeper under the warm covers. A hand grabbed at her, feeling around, and she batted the had away. "No, Zuru..." Natsuki mumbled still half asleep. It was then she heard whimpering, but her mind disregarded it.

Something, or rather someone, began nuzzling her breasts and that's when her pleasant slumber ended abruptly. Without hesitating she bolted right out of bed, pulling her night shirt down in the process. "What the hell!" Natsuki shouted at the girl who was still looking for all the world confused.

"It's gone." Mikoto told her, cocking her head to the side.

A soft growl slipped from her lips as she squinted at the clock. It was afternoon, but even so, Mai was nowhere to be found. "What's gone?" Natsuki finally managed to ask without sounding as angry as she felt. Truth be told, she wanted to throttle the girl. Laying on her was one thing Mikoto could get away with, trying to undress her was an entirely different story.

"The thing." Makoto told Natsuki, as if the young woman would understand.

As if it should have been obvious, and yet, there was no way to know for sure, Natsuki sighed. She glanced around the room, but nothing seemed out of place. "What thing, Mikoto?" Natsuki asked again. When Mikoto shrugged, Natsuki sighed. "Okay, where should it have been."

Mikoto pointed at Natsuki's shirt. "It was under there, wasn't it?" She asked innocently.

With a frown, Natsuki sighed, putting a hand over her face. "Where the hell is Mai?"

"At work!" Mikoto chirped, and that made Natsuki sighed again.

"Damn it. Alright uhh, Mikoto the thing is..." Natsuki began awkwardly, finally catching onto the girl's confusion. "Women don't sleep in bra's, I know I don't...not usually."

"Where do they go?" A barrage of questions was normal on any given day, and Natsuki had grown used to the assault she would often receive whenever Mai was away from the feral girl. Natsuki even had gotten good at dodging some questions, but today just wasn't her day. "They don't disappear, do they?"

"Little idiot..." Natsuki growled, slipping back under her covers. "They go in my hamper with the rest of my dirty clothes, I sort them out later. The clean ones go in my underwear drawer." She put her face back into the pillow, happily ignoring the pout that seemed to stay on the girl's features. Then, the silence of the room was replaced with rustling, and Natsuki lifted her head, only to find a mess on the floor. "What now?" Natsuki muttered, looking at the mess her collection was becoming.

"I want one." Mikoto told her, as if that was the easiest thing in the world. "Like this one!"

Natsuki rolled over, if only to keep an eye on the troublesome girl. "I like it too, it's comfy." It was a plain black bra, a little sheer, perhaps, but it was one Natsuki considered to be for unimportant daily use. The matching panties considered the same. Since she deemed it, and many of the other pairs in the lower drawer unfit for her protection, she continued to let Mikoto have her fun. As long as the girl didn't open the trunk in the corner where Natsuki's important collection pieces were safe and sound, Natsuki didn't mind. "That won't fit you, though."

Mikoto seemed to consider that. "How do I make it fit?"

"It won't fit." Natsuki's dry voice groused out. "The cups are bigger than you need."

Mikoto nodded, and then she frowned. "Mai says I need a bigger one."

"Likely." Natsuki agreed. "You've grown..." The bra she had originally gotten for the girl had been a training bra, and Mikoto was now finally starting to develop. She looked over at the clock, and realized Shizuru was out of class by now. "Alright, go put your shirt back on before someone comes in here and gets weird ideas." Natsuki muttered sleepily, reaching blindly for her phone, pressing Shizuru's number on the speed dial. "Hey babe." Natsuki yawned, her mind still foggy.

"Natsuki?" The woman's voice sounded confused. "Don't you have to be in science class?"

"I don't know who, but someone set a fire going in the chem lab during first hour." Natsuki explained. "All of the high school and middle school students were released early, so I came back to the dorm and crashed out for a while."

"My Natsuki still sounds tired." Shizuru said, a bit of concern lacing her voice. "I thought you said you slept well?"

"I did sleep well, considering I haven't slept at all until last night." Natsuki said, still upset about the fact she had to drag herself out of bed an hour earlier than she normally would have. She didn't regret it though, since she'd spent the night with Shizuru. "I might come over and spend the night again tonight, but that depends on if Mai's going to be out with her unholy terror all night." Then Natsuki scratched her head. "If Mai's buggered off, someone needs to be sure her pet gets fed."

"Mikoto woke you up, didn't she?" Shizuru asked, a tiny bit amused, and eased by Natsuki's words.

"Yeah." She didn't pay any mind to the rustling she was making over the phone as she rubbed her tired face. "Want to play house?" Natsuki said partly in jest. "I have no desire to take her bra shopping on my own, and Mai really isn't any help."

"If Natsuki would like." Shizuru said. "But, the sale adverts don't start until tomorrow."

"Damn it." Natsuki frowned, knowing Mikoto was going to be rambunctious until her mission had been accomplished. "Can we still come anyway?"

"Makoto doesn't need a babysitter." Shizuru said then.

"No, but my collection does." Natsuki muttered.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: There is absolutely no excuse for the last chapter beyond the fact that I was bored...but, it was around that time, and into the 10th, when I realized there was literally no point to this story thus far. My brain was off in la-la land, and I could not have cared less that the last chapter was bordering on crack fiction, though I will say that a spark of inspiration hit me, and I used it to my advantaged...but, the entry for this day was completely a fluke of nature pulled out of my rear end. The following days prove that perfectly, because whatever brilliant plan I thought I had, I swear, died ingloriously after I woke up the next day.

I don't own Mai HiME...(we should all be thankful)

* * *

**December 7th**

Natsuki had dragged Mikoto along with her, if only to keep her personal items intact. She shuttered to think about what the curious teen, who lacked any sort of moral high ground when it came to such a thing, might do. There were very few people who could follow Natsuki around and cling onto her the way Mikoto did. If Shizuru had done anything before leaving the high school campus, it was that she had made her desire quite clear. No one was ever to harass Natsuki. The word was out, and Shizuru's devoted fans, and fellow ex-HiME alike took heed in that warning. Even Yukino who was now in charge of the executive committee was sure to uphold that law, unwilling to take a guess at what Shizuru might do if otherwise provoked.

Even so, Natsuki's reputation normally kept most people safely away...always at arms length.

Mikoto was one of the few that didn't understand such a concept, and she forgot about that rule often. Still, Shizuru humored the girl, because in her mind, and Natsuki's, that was exactly what Mikoto was. A child in many ways, seeking acceptance and learning the boundaries of her world. Shizuru had taken pity in that, because Mikoto had been raised to be little more than a tool, much like Reito himself had fallen victim to sins of a long ago past. It was that truth alone, that earned Mikoto the absolute privilege to be met with a kind but stern hand in matters that concerned Natsuki.

Rather, Shizuru chose to overlook anything, unless Natsuki took direct offense to it.

Still, hearing the story that Natsuki had all but stammered did little to ease the woman who now stood in the faint light of the morning. Mikoto napped on the sofa, having been up all night watching the television. Shizuru left it on, knowing the girl got uncomfortable without background noise, and then went back to her room, shutting the door behind her. "She's still asleep." Shizuru told Natsuki, though the younger woman had already guessed as much.

"For a few hours." Natsuki spoke into her pillow, her groggy voice quite displeased by having been woken up by Shizuru's alarm at all. "She sleeps like a rock, trust me. We've got until the sun maces her dead on in the face before we have to worry."

Shizuru slipped back under the covers, her mind mulling over Natsuki's demeanor towards the girl in the living room. "You're quite fond of Mikoto, aren't you."

"Grrr." With the annoyed response Natsuki covered her head with the blankets. "Little pain in the butt."

"Still, you're fond of her." Shizuru went on, having already known Natsuki's answer. "You fawn all over her, in your own ways."

Lifting her head from her hiding place, she leveled a firm glare at Shizuru. "I do not." She replied. "That's Mai's job, not mine."

"And yet, she's on my sofa." Shizuru told Natsuki with a soft, knowing smile.

"Well, no duh...she was tearing apart my damned underwear drawer." It worried her to leave the collection alone on a good day, let alone when Mikoto was in one of her moods. "Crap, we have to take her shopping today, don't we?"

"Natsuki, it's alright." She wouldn't let the easily flustered woman in front of her change the subject. "I do understand that Mikoto's harmless. I don't mind that you fawn over her so much, someone has too." She rolled over onto her back, looking up at the ceiling. "She's lucky she has someone to worry about her."

"Yeah, and usually it's Mai." Natsuki didn't follow...she didn't care to know what Shizuru was thinking in that head of hers. "I don't worry about her...she can take care of herself...well, usually."

"You're lucky you have people to worry about." Shizuru replied, almost wishing she had a little something more to occupy her time on occasion. "You have friends who need you more than they can even begin to understand. You have other things to keep your mind on, and other goals to stay attached to." Mikoto was like a lance for every ounce of poison that Shizuru was unable to release. She was a safe person to deal with, and her clinging meant nothing in the grand scheme. Her innocent nature was like a balm, a reminder that not everyone was trying to steal Natsuki away from her...a fear she would never dare speak of, but felt every single day. "You might not admit it, but, she is one of them."

"You're giving me far too much credit." Natsuki mumbled. "I don't really care what happens to her, it isn't something I worry about." Natsuki turned to face Shizuru then. "Mai doesn't want to admit it, but, Mikoto has Reito to rely on. That's more than a lot of us have...she says it's not good enough, because Reito is a guy...but one time, I fired back that Takumi was too. That if Reito wasn't good enough for Mikoto, then Mai wasn't good enough to look after her little brother. She told me it was different, but, I don't think it is." Natsuki couldn't be sure, she'd never really had a sibling in her life. "Personally, if I had my way about it...Mikoto would rely on Reito and not on Mai."

Shizuru bit her lip. "It is different, Natsuki." She had more access to student files than Natsuki did, and, while it was true Natsuki would search through the female files with a fine tooth comb, she normally left the males well enough alone. That was why Akira had slipped under Natsuki's radar so easily during the HiME battles. It was also why she would never really understand the true difference. "Reito isn't cut out for that, Mai's correct." Shizuru finally decided she would say what she could. "He never had to worry about responsibilities regarding his younger sister. He has no idea of the difficulty and commitment it takes, and to be frank, Mikoto can't afford to be reliant on someone who hasn't the slightest clue." In that, Shizuru agreed with Mai. "It is better for Mikoto's sake, and Mai's, that she stays exactly where she is. There's a mutual benefit there, somehow." There was also a tiny part of herself that wanted to admit her weaknesses, but she couldn't. "It is better for you too, even if you don't understand why."

"You won't elaborate on that, will you?" Natsuki asked Shizuru, who shook her head. "Why not?"

"It's complicated." Shizuru paused, her crimson eyes closing as she released a quiet sigh. "There is no easy way to say it, so I would rather not voice it at all."


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: After having drawn a blank from the day before, but refusing to leave the day empty, this chapter was much shorter than most of the others are. I attribute it to the fact that I had a few family events that day, and was otherwise preoccupied with entertaining them.

* * *

**December 8****th**

It was that time of year that made Natsuki cringe. She never liked the idea of anything festive, mostly because she was not the type of person to feel obligated to. Part of it she knew without a doubt had to be a product of her upbringing, or the lack of it. Another part of her hatred for such a thing was something harder to describe. Still, Natsuki wasn't about to let Shizuru worry about her, or her nature for brooding at in opportune times. She had wanted to make the evening a pleasant one, mostly because it was the last one she would have with Shizuru for a while.

Still, taking the late night stroll was well and good, until Natsuki noticed a few things that made her mind trail off, carrying away any good sense along with it.

If it was the way the short puffs of heated air slipped heat across her neck, or the warm hand that played lazily with her own, Natsuki wasn't entirely sure. She didn't rightly care either. All she knew was that no one else was around, and the snow on the ground was a dull thing to look at. Shizuru didn't seem one for conversation, and though Natsuki knew why her mind was playing tricks on her, she couldn't help but amuse it. She thought about those silky tresses of fawn hair that tickled her cheek. They seemed to be collecting bits of snow that drifted into them, the crystals twinkling under the street lights. She imagined every single time she let her fingers comb through them, often times, pushing them behind Shizuru's back, as Natsuki preferred them to be. She often wished, though she would never say it, that Shizuru should grow her hair out a little longer if only so those long strands would say where they were meant too.

Damn them anyway...

They were the reason for the image now...the one that left wisps of thought in the little place known as her imagination, a place she firmly hated any thought to be at all. She often awoke to Shizuru's tousled hair in the morning, her sleepy eyes greeting the day with relaxed contentment, usually. _But what if one morning she doesn't want to wake up?_ It had been a purely innocent thought, at the beginning. _What if she just turned her alarm off, rolled over, and just didn't care about it? _Not that Shizuru ever would do that, Natsuki realized, but if the woman did, what might happen?

"This is stupid." Natsuki murmured then catching the attention of the woman who was so easily distracted by the beauty of the city night.

"What is?" Shizuru could feel a few hints that eluded to something unseen.

"Hmm?" It was then, Natsuki shook her head. "Don't worry about it. I was just thinking out loud."

"You've gotten my attention." Shizuru nodded with a small smirk. "What was my Natsuki thinking about?"

"That you would never just stay in bed all day like I would..." At that, Natsuki stilled, looking into one of the windows that had decorations out. "You may like to stroll at night, but you don't like to stay up late all the time like I do." She was thankful for the cold, even if she suspected that Shizuru could still tell Natsuki was blushing, and not only because of the weather. "Again, it was just a stupid thought."

"Hmm." Shizuru nodded, snuggling in just a little closer. "There are times that I wouldn't mind." Shizuru told Natsuki, wishing the younger woman would catch her meaning. "Just like, I would hope there are times you wouldn't be opposed to waking up early, if the right situation called for it."

Natsuki paused, and shook her head. "I'm afraid to ask."

"You shouldn't have to." Shizuru told Natsuki, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"I know." It was the softest of grumbles, but at least it lacked what would have been panic in earlier months. "Shizuru..." Natsuki wasn't nearly as flustered about such things now, even if she didn't like to amuse them. "If you ever wanted...I mean if something ever...you could always just -uhh." Natsuki sighed, clamping her mouth shut when she realized she wasn't making sense. "Never mind." Still, She bit her lower lip, and found her eyes trailing up at the sky. _That was stupid._ She thought, chastising herself. _Really, really stupid._


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: It was cold, I was bored, and after having raided in rift all weekend, I was not in the right frame of mind for writing, I don't think.

* * *

**December 9****th**

It was icy and cold, so much so, Nao wondered just what was taking her friend so long to get to her location. She'd been waiting for several hours now, the time on her phone seemed to scream at her. Even the battery was slowly dying, blinking away with a red little icon in the corner of the screen, indicating as much. With one hand, she pulled the jacket around her body, huddling for warmth. With the other, she braved the chilly uncertainty that had her uneasy, and annoyed.

It was her mother on the other line. "Nao, when are you going to come home?"

"Later, I've got something I've got to do first." It was always hard. "Don't worry, I'll be okay." Her mother may have been awake, but, she was still ill, frail, and confined to a wheelchair. Learning how to walk again was a task that would have to wait, and for the first time in Nao's life, she truly understood Mai's greatest struggle. How do you care for a person who can't care for themselves? How do you help them, without driving that person, and yourself, crazy? Those were question Nao didn't have the answer to, and it was made even more difficult because it was her mother.

"It's the middle of the night." The protest was a soft one, but firm. "A girl like you shouldn't be out so late." They avoided topics that made them uncomfortable. "It's dangerous." This was one of them, and her mother left the words open to interpretation.

"I know." Nao muttered, trying her best to keep the guilty tone out of her voice. If only her mother knew the truth. "I'm not alone so, it's okay." If only the woman knew just what secrets the redhead would never dare speak of, or her personal mission against such dangers.

"Well, where are you, can you at least tell me that?" Once again, a hard question filtered though the phone, and Nao suppressed a curse.

Thankfully, the person she was waiting for came to her rescue. Nao shivered, but handed the phone to Natsuki. "She's with me." Natsuki said into the receiver as Nao put on a helmet. "I didn't want her walking home from Mai's alone, so I told her I'd come to pick her up. Sorry I'm so late getting here, traffic was horrible." It was a lie. "I'll have her home soon, I promise." A very well constructed lie, but, it was enough. Natsuki passed the phone back to Nao, and let the teen finish the conversation before she felt Nao sigh into her back. "You've gotta stop sneaking out."

"Yeah." Nao's noncommittal voice sighed out. "Don't you know you can't teach an old dog new tricks, mutt?"

"Hmm." Natsuki nodded to that, but didn't say anything, driving through the empty back alley streets with ease. "Hold on tight, the roads suck." Natsuki might not have needed him anymore, but Yamada found himself to be useful in other ways. She could see him waiting in the shadows, Nao's hidden protection and personal cleanup crew. Nao wasn't alone anymore, but, it wasn't as of either one of them could say anything. Natsuki sped away, turning onto the highway, the cold air shooting past them, cutting like knives.

Natsuki was used to this sort of feeling, the icy air sharp enough to cut like a knife upon the flesh. Nao clung tightly to Natsuki, pressing her body closer to Natsuki's own out of self preservation, if little else. She gasped at every sharp turn and clung harder at every harsh stop. Natsuki didn't seem phased by it, her grin hidden by her helmet. She loved to harass Nao in this fashion, payback for every unkind word and halfhearted slur. Eventually though, Natsuki slowed her driving one they reached Nao's sub.

"You really should have Mai come over and visit." Natsuki said when Nao's home was in sight.

"Not yet." Nao said, unwilling to subject Mai to the horrors of her past, and what was still being erased. "Soon, I might think about it."

"I'm sure she'd be willing to help fix up the place." Natsuki cut the engine, and the two of them made their way into the empty garage. "Not to mention you guys need to start eating more than just takeout every night, for your mom's own good." Natsuki received a nod, but little more. Still, when Nao opened the door to the cozy, if not questionable kitchen, Natsuki followed as well, dragging the zipper down as she did it. Underneath she had on a pair of trashed jeans, and a shirt stained with paint and motor oil. It wasn't her usual attire, but, in a pinch, it would due. She looked down at the floor that she was still trying to help Nao install piece by piece. She shook her head. "We've got a long way to go. We need all the help we can get."

"I know." Nao didn't need to turn around, she could already hear Natsuki's movements. "I'll be back in a sec." She sighed, grabbing her mother's night time medicine.

"Yeah, okay." Natsuki said, looking around to the living area that still had torn carpeting and cracks in the wall. _Maybe Nao's right...Mai should wait a little longer._ Natsuki found it hard to take in every little detail that had yet to be repaired. The remains of Nao's horrendous past lay dormant here, and with every tile of floor, every coat of paint, it was slowly being covered up and hidden away for good. Still, Natsuki knew the truth. You could cover up the past, but you couldn't cover up the memories. _Time to make her some new ones..._ Natsuki thought then, nibbling on her lower lip. _The only question is, how?_


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: The 10th was a stupid day for me, in retrospect, because no matter what I did in my word processor, it died before I could save it. We had power outs all day that day, for just long enough to tick me off. It was distracting to say the least.

* * *

**December 10****th**

"You are going to fail, if you keep that up." Midori sighed, popping another pretzel into her mouth, crunching on it merrily. "What's gotten into you anyway? You're not usually into helping Nao like that."

"Screw Nao, get to the lesson plan." Natsuki groused, crossing her arms and pointedly ignoring the smirk Mai was giving her. "And don't you start."

"Here, I saved you the trouble." Midori said then, passing out study guides to her friends in front of her. "That's the test for my class, point blank." She told Natsuki and Mai before turning to Mikoto to stress the same exact aspect for the lower grade level. "Word for word. If you know the questions in that order, and the answers following them, you'll be fine." Midori took to pitching back the beer she had in hand. Then she pointed to Natsuki and Mai, growing thoughtful again. "Your math exams will be easy, just look at chapters twelve, sixteen, and twenty...that's basically the test." It was hard to see these girls as her pupils, especially all that they had gone through, both as friends, and as rivals. "Mikoto's remedial class is probably just going to be a repeat of questions from the small quizzes she's had before. If she looks them over, she should be okay."

"You've never seen her math homework, have you?" Natsuki gawked, knowing well that Mikoto was nearly failing every class that couldn't hold her attention, and math was one of them.

"That bad?" Midori winced, to which even Mai nodded.

"You've seen her history grade." Mai said then, agreeing with Natsuki. "It's even worse when you think about math. She hates it."

"Science too, when it isn't a lab day." Natsuki shook her head, unsure of what Mikoto's future would be if this kept up. The younger girl in question just kept eating snacks, and didn't pay any mind to the conversation around her. Instead, she hummed away, enjoying Mai's cooking. "See, she doesn't even care."

"Well, some people aren't meant for long and boring classes." Midori shrugged. "There were times we skipped out, and we're fine, aren't we?"

"She might get held back again." Mai protested, pointing in Natsuki's general direction. "I wouldn't call that fine, would you?"

"I am not going to be held back." Natsuki's voice was an agitated rumble, bordering on dangerous. "Those grades better be passing...and if they aren't, I'm calling in a few favors. Fumi owes us big time for that crap she pulled."

"Relax." Midori told Natsuki, putting a beer in front of her too, though she knew Natsuki wasn't much of a drinker anyway. "You'll be fine. In my classes the lowest thing you have is a C."

"Damn you." Natsuki hissed. "If you would have paired me with Mai for that last hands on quiz, I'd still be sitting at an even B."

"If I would have done that, there's a good chance Chie would have burned the school down. You know she can't cook. Mai's the only one in the class I can pair her with...at least, if I want to give her a passing grade by the end of the term." Midori said simply, knowing home economics was Natsuki's worst class as well. "Besides, it wasn't a bad first attempt. You and Aoi did just fine."

"It wasn't good either." Natsuki sighed then, glancing through her study guide. "Okay so history is this crap, and math I can more or less wiz by, what about the other stuff?"

Midori gave that some thought. "Chemistry is going to be a tough one." Midori said after considering the questions that were on them. "I would say to make sure you have the periodic table completely memorized, and it might be a good idea to look over those flash cards you made at the start of the year. You never know what will be on that one, and I haven't seen the test for it." With all of the tough classes out of the way, Midori smirked. "English and modern Japanese are ones you won't have a problem with, so I wouldn't worry. Gym will probably be split up into two groups based on gender. To be honest, I think Mai will find that one harder than you will."

"Alright." Natsuki nodded, she could taste her diploma at this rate. "What about the second semester exams? I've got to take those as well to test out of them."

"Dunno about those." Midori shrugged, a bit unsure about that herself. "If you've read through the books and curriculum, then you can probably muddle your way through most of them, at least, I would think so." With a squint she chugged down the last bit of beer in her glass and leaned back a bit. "Mine are out of the textbooks, literally. As long as you've read it, you should be fine. I'd say Chemistry is going to be the hardest written test you've got to be worried about. In home economics, I've got a thirty question written portion, and then a demonstration segment for the final."

"Alright, what are you going to force me to cook this time?" Natsuki muttered, not willing to think about how badly she could screw it up just yet.

"Student choice, but it has to be from the second half of the class, so I'd suggest you pick a recipe and learn it before exam day." Midori eyed her empty glass, and then with a smirk she put it down. "So tell me Kuga, now that all of that unpleasantness is out of the way, what's really going on between you and Yuuki?"

Natsuki sighed heavily. "That's it, I'm going to Shizuru's."

"Running away again, huh?" Midori waved her hand, not minding either way. "It isn't any matter. I'll find out sooner or later, I always do."

"Whatever." Natsuki didn't stay around. She packed her bags and headed out of the dorm room she shared with Mai and Mikoto, walking down the hallway with heavy strides. She knew she had to study, but at least with the cooking exams coming up, she had a good excuse.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: The 11th was far more cooperative as far as the ability to write was concerned, so this one was an easy one.

* * *

**December 11****th**

"Does her home truly look that bad?" Shizuru asked conversationally as she watched Natsuki from the counter.

"It's more than just that." Natsuki said, trying to keep an eye on the gravy she was making. She wasn't used to full and complicated meal plans, but she knew she couldn't go into the cooking portion of her tests with just a noodle dish in mind, not if she wanted to test out of the course. "Nao's mom is still pretty frail too." With the whisk in hand, she stirred the mixture as carefully as she could. "If my mom was still alive, I know I wouldn't want you to see something like that either." She grabbed the flour, but heard Shizuru made a negative noise. "What?"

"Get a cup and mix the flour and water together with a whisk." Shizuru said gently. "Then you add it to the drippings you've collected in the pan. It will thicken naturally." When Natsuki nodded, doing as she had been told, they went back to their casual conversation. "Natsuki, I hope you know that you could trust me. If your mother was still alive and in a similar situation, you know I would help in any way I could, correct?"

"If she was, I'm sure we wouldn't be having this conversation." In Natsuki's mind, that was enough, but she knew that wouldn't be the case for Shizuru. "It wouldn't be something we could discuss, because I wouldn't allow that." She frowned a bit, even though it was entirely pointless to talk about it, Natsuki still felt a little guilty, even if her words were little more than truth. "Chances are, we probably wouldn't have even been friends, Shizuru. You know how I get when I've got to maintain focus on one thing...that's just how it works, and if I would have had to look after my mom..." Natsuki trailed off, shaking her head. She knew well enough, it just didn't matter.

"Bring the gravy back to a simmer." Shizuru instructed, noticing Natsuki had taken the small pot off of the burner. "If you don't cook the flour, it won't taste very good." Still, she came around to Natsuki's side of the kitchen and wrapped her arms around her.

"Right." Natsuki said with a frown, forgetting that.

"I understand what you're trying to say." Shizuru murmured then, putting her chin on Natsuki's shoulder to watch the girl from a different angle. "For a person such as myself, that makes perfect sense, but, for a person such as Mai, it doesn't. She understands matters such as this. You two should have more faith in her abilities."

"It's easy for you to say that." Natsuki was looking down into the pot she was stirring, but inwardly she was sighing. "Things like this get to her because of her brother, she's more easily affected by this kind of stuff." Natsuki rolled her shoulders back to beg Shizuru for some space, if only so that she could bend down and look inside of the oven to look in on the rest of the food. "Even if she wasn't, Nao's house isn't a place I would take Mai. There's too much there that Mai just shouldn't see."

"It bothers you as well, and yet, you still go over there." Shizuru reminded her, a soft disapproval lacing her words.

Natsuki took a breath, she knew what Shizuru didn't dare to ask, yet still wished the answer to. "Nao's lost the freedom she used to have." Natsuki licked her dry lips. "When you don't have anyone, you can do anything." She wished it didn't sound as bad as she knew it was. "No one worries, so, you don't have to feel guilty about it. You can do what you want to do, anything you feel like you have to...and it isn't your fault if people get involved, because they were the stupid ones."

"So, is that's how it was back then." Shizuru said, more to herself than to the woman in front of her.

"Huh?" Natsuki didn't receive an answer.

"It's nothing, Natsuki. Don't worry." Still, her tiny frown was hidden by the palm of her hand, lost in her own thoughts on the matter. _So, that's how she used to justify things. If this is what made her so pensive, it's easy to see why such a thing addles her now, watching it play out in the life of another._ Shizuru nodded to herself. "Even so, you shouldn't feel any obligation to help her, not if it upsets you so much."

"I'm probably doing more harm than good." Natsuki said then, with a shrug. "I'm giving Nao the out she needs...and it's the least I can do. Since I'm the only friend her mother has met, and an adult at that, she puts a bit of faith in me where Nao is concerned." It was a faith that was misplaced at best, Natsuki knew...but even so, Nao wanted it there, regardless of the danger. "Nao's been on her own for so long, you can see that questioned authority. Her mother doesn't know if she should say anything and Nao's not really willing to listen to it anyway...the damage has already been done."

"Nao grew up too fast due to the events." Shizuru nodded. "She can't go back to been an innocent child, even if she wanted to."

"Oh, she wants to." Natsuki said then, she could see that in Nao's eyes all the time. "It'll get to that point, in some way or another. It's just that right now, her mom is just too weak still. Nao can't trust her mom will actually make a full recovery just yet, because in the back of her mind, things are just too fresh." Natsuki knew from her own accident in the past, it would take time. "You've gotta figure, after my accident, I was stuck in bed for months, and then my rehab took the rest of that year." Natsuki shrugged. "The HiME battle just ended a few months back, there hasn't been enough time yet for either of them to settle in."

Shizuru remained unconvinced, but decided to let the matter drop. "If you say so."

"I know it, Shizuru." Natsuki murmured. "So, don't worry about it so much. I'm not as bothered by it as I may seem." She turned to pull some spices from the rack next to her, offering a serene smile as she did it. "It's just memories, that's all."


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: The 12th was a Thursday, so it was a raid day, thankfully for me, I had that to give my brain a break before I came up with this chapter.

* * *

**December 12****th**

It was a bad habit of hers, she knew, but even so she was drawn to such difficult things, and impossible people. No, it wasn't just Natsuki that had taken her interest a time or two. Though, it was true Shizuru hadn't fallen so deeply for anyone as she had Natsuki, she had to admit, there was a very distinct reason she had so many fans back in high school, and why she seemed to be inviting more of the same treatment on the university campus.

Part of it was a calculated move, considering she was going to be taking on her father's company upon graduation. It was a move made easier with more popularity. The other part of it though, the part that she let seep into her the most, was a true and heartfelt concern for others. She would never admit it, but she took a joy in it, if only to get her mind well away from her own trials and tribulations...of which, she had to admit, were quite dark indeed.

Her current fixation was not on any of her fellow classmates, nor was it the banter found on the campus during the daytime hours. It was, ironically enough, aimed at Nao. In truth, it was a fixation made easier by Natsuki's personal endeavors in the matter, but even that aside, Shizuru couldn't deny it. Nao had always been an interest of hers, and one she had been sure to keep an eye on.

Before the battle, Shizuru merely merely took an interest in the troubled student, one who wanted nothing to do with the school, the staff, or even the simple rules of the academy. The amount of detention slips alone nearly forced Shizuru into keeping an eye on her, especially back in those days. Nao had a flagrant disregard for school policy, just as Natsuki did. The only difference was, Nao seemed to cause more of a ruckus. Natsuki was quiet about her rule breaking, and always had been.

It was during the battle that Shizuru's interest in Nao changed drastically, bordering to seem degree on murderous, something she still felt guilty about. They had all let their emotions take over, and Shizuru was an emotional creature, very much so. It wasn't any wonder why her child grew so big, or so powerful. She should have had more control, she knew that...but even so, her transgressions were best left in a place unreachable, and that was why she tried her best to ignore Nao when she could.

Or, at least, she used to avoid Nao.

Now, that interest had come back. It waned into a very careful deliberation that she was sure not to utter to Natsuki. This was, after all, a very difficult subject. Natsuki was protective of Nao, for entirely selfish and personal reasons, of course. Shizuru knew that, and that in Natsuki's heart of hearts, that nothing beyond protection, and perhaps sisterly affection would ever come from it.

It was Nao she was worried about. Shizuru had noticed how the barbed insults had blunted over time, and how Natsuki's own sharp wit had been reduced to a fraction of what it had been. Shizuru was unsure of what that meant, since she herself was finding herself less bothered by Nao's existence. She was even surprised to note that her fixation was once again turning into an interest of Nao's own well being, and not just Natsuki's own safety...though, that still topped Shizuru's list.

How she ended up at Nao's front door remained a mystery to her. How Nao's mother looked when she opened the door was even more of a shock. "I hope you'll pardon the intrusion." Yet, even as Shizuru prepared and served tea, now sitting across from this woman, it had only just dawned on her. _It isn't any wonder why it pains Natsuki to see this._ Shizuru had to admit, it pained her as well. "I was a bit worried, you see, Natsuki speaks very little about what goes on around here."

"I should be worried, shouldn't I?" The woman spoke, her voice tired and yet full of air. "I knew Nao was hiding something."

"She hides a great deal." Shizuru said then, carefully choosing her words. "I don't blame her for that, if anything, I expect it."

"I'm learning to." The pale woman nodded, her chestnut tresses falling down her back and shoulders in a scraggly fashion. "Nao's changed, and I know it isn't for the better." It had been so long since it had last been cut, that Shizuru was sure it had to be full of split ends. "I also doubt her friends can be trusted, but, I have no choice."

"You mean Natsuki." The question cut deeply, and received an odd answer.

"She is an earnest woman." Nao's mother replied after some thought, her smile gentle enough to ward away any ill feeling she might have towards the woman in question. "Nao trusts her a great deal, and I can tell they are good friends. She is not my problem." Then with a shrug, the woman sighed. "She's also not a figment of my daughter's words, either."

"Ah, I see." Shizuru took a sip of tea and offered a gentle nod. "Nao has many acquaintances, myself included in that." She wondered if that would be enough. "Yet to say she has many friends, well that is something that would be an outright lie." She tried to clear the fog her mind was drenched in. "Nao is vicious at best, and thus, difficult to get along with."

"You are not a friend of hers?" The question seemed rushed, a worry in lime green eyes that were so much like Nao's own. It was clear who the teen inherited her looks from.

"Our relationship is a questionable one at best." Shizuru forced herself to say. "I doubt Nao will ever see me as a friend, but, I am not worthy of that either." She looked away, her eyes finding the tattered carpet on the floor. "I've done some awful things to her, just as she has done them to others, and to Natsuki." It was such a truth that had brought Shizuru here in the first place, at least, that's what she told herself. Now she knew that she had lied to her own heart. "I suppose you could say, our loyalty to others is what keeps us civil." She knew it was bad, that Nao's struggle had been a difficult one, just as Natsuki's own had been. "We're on agreeable terms, at the very least."

"Is that enough?" The frail woman asked, her words slow at best.

"It is what it is." Shizuru nodded. "Nao has several people to fawn and worry over her. Within that, you should take comfort." With a soft sigh, Shizuru convinced herself of that little matter as well. "My only regret, perhaps, is not taking noticeable action sooner. It could have saved the both of us so much grief." Shizuru was sure now, she knew why Natsuki endeavored to guide Nao down a better path. "Regardless, this is an amendable situation, and I'll be sure to do that."


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: ...if you have a problem with this story, don't read it...Also, she was held back a year when she was hospitalized as a child, she's trying to catch up to Shizuru and graduate early, that's why she's trying to test out of classes...as for her cooking grade, she's never been good at that.

Anyway, again with the power outs, as it seems to do in winter, the 13th had me so very, very angry...in fact, I was so frustrated, this bit of total pointlessness is what ensued.

* * *

**December 13****th**

It was dark in the house, none of the lights were on, indicating that Shizuru was likely asleep. The faucet in the kitchen sink dripped, the water tapping away at the plate every few moments. It was the only sound on the otherwise quiet night that loomed over the house. The stars were covered by clouds, and the snow was falling in waves. Natsuki knew it was a wonder she'd made it here at all, but when she crept through the house, she took comfort in the sweet scent of warmed tea that had likely only been made a few hours before.

She put her school books on the table, and then hushed the dripping water, the metal handle crying in dismay when it was shut off. One look around, and she noted that Shizuru had probably gone to bed without eating a proper dinner, an empty paper cup that had once been filled with noodles sat lonely and empty on the counter top. _Hmm, I guess Shizuru's been cramming pretty hard too._

Then, the light flickered on.

"Natsuki, it's late." Shizuru murmured, her voice exhausted.

"And cold." Natsuki said, her voice keeping hints of her shivering.

"Not that I'm not happy, but what are you doing here?" The question was so soft, and completely irrelevant as Shizuru held out her hands, beckoning Natsuki to be dragged along into the bedroom.

"I couldn't study under those conditions." Natsuki groused. "Mikoto was snoring, Nao was flinging candies at my head, and Mai's fluttering around doing whatever the hell she does when she makes instant noodles." Though her complaints were many, and her body shivered from the chill that clung onto her, she immediately soothed when Shizuru's fingertips drew lazy circles along her arms. "I came to crash out here, didn't think you'd mind." Natsuki said then, a soft gulp stalling her voice.

"Who says I mind?" Though she was sleepy, she was quick to be concerned at the words.

"You didn't." Natsuki replied her words in a rush then. "It's just that...hmm." She shook her head, a bemused smile on her lips. "I figure, if I was woken up, I'd be pissed..so I also thought you might not be too happy about it."

"I'm all too happy to wake up and see my Natsuki." Shizuru said, pushing Natsuki's leather jacket off of her shoulders. "However, I'm even more eager to get her warmed up so that we can both get some sleep." Her crimson eyes found the clock, a tiny sigh escaping her lips. "I have a lecture in seven hours that I can't miss."

Natsuki looked at the clock, it was two in the morning. "Midori's going to tutor us before the first bell, so I've got to be there at eight."

"Then what are you waiting for." Shizuru said with a smile as she all but shoved Natsuki onto one side of the bed. "You'll sleep right through the alarm if you don't rest right now." She too slid under the covers, not wasting any time cuddling into Natsuki's side. "I'm glad you came by."

"Yeah." Natsuki murmured. "Me too."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: *shrugs* That's what happens when you write every day, the fiction takes a life of it's own...it's not a big deal, just saying... it is primarily fluffy...or in this case, comedic humor... for the record, our tree ended up having a birds nest in it, complete with bird...not a fun morning when we discovered a finch flying around the house and two cats trying to eat it.

It was around this time of the year that I realized just how busy my holidays get, and I never really finished my entry for the 14th day. I had to come back and finish it on the 15th, because of that, this entry is for two days at the same time...this challenge was becoming hard since this was literally exam week for most people where I live. That and family gatherings meant very little time for writing.

* * *

**December 14th/15th **

She didn't know why, but there was something about fresh pine that bugged her. The smell was reminiscent of something faint, something she felt shouldn't be bothered, and rather, left to its own devices. It was after all a tree, normally a tall thing, majestic and proud. Yet, here it was reduced to an annoying little yard, looking for all the world like it had been the last of the pickings. "Told you we should have come last week." Nao told Natsuki, knowing there wasn't much left to pick from.

"We couldn't have done it last week, we didn't have the truck." Natsuki said then. "It's not like I can fit that on my bike, and we can't very well carry the thing all the way back to campus."

"We could have used the van." Shizuru said gently, leaning into Natsuki's warmth. The day was sorely lacking it, even if the sun was bright, and the sky free of most clouds. "I didn't realize this was so important to Mai."

"It isn't." Natsuki said pointedly. "It's a tree."

"Hey guys, I found one that I think might work." Mai called out from the very back corner of the lot, in a place Natsuki has assumed was the reject section.

"Now that is truly a sad state of affairs." Natsuki grumbled, looking at the tree that was sticking out of the ground at an angle.

Nao couldn't agree more. "You'd have a better chance at decorating Midori than that twig." Then she looked to Natsuki. "Hey, think we could?"

Natsuki shrugged. "Get her drunk enough."

Shizuru worked hard to suppress her chuckle. "Natsuki, that's not nice."

"True though." Natsuki said before looking back at Mai's choice of a tree. "That's not coming home with us."

"I think it's cute." Mai said then. It was shorter than she was, thin, and missing several bits of needles.

"It's depressing." Natsuki shook her head. There was nothing redeeming about the one Mai had picked.

"Not to mention how dumb it looks." Nao went on to say after she stretchered and looked around a bit more. "You know Mai, there are other lots."

"I want this one!" Mikoto chanted, sitting on the top branch of the tallest tree in the lot.

"For the last time, that's not going to fit!" Natsuki shouted, her hands curling into fists. "Get down here before you tip it over."

"Oh, stop being so cranky." Shizuru hushed the angry mutterings that was slipping from beyond Natsuki's lips. "That's a very nice tree, isn't it, Mikoto."

"That's why we should go for this tree. It's perfect for the dorm." Mai continued on, trying to defend the dying little sapling. "Not only can we fit it on the back of the truck, but, we can also carry it up the stairs easily. Remember, nothing will fit in the elevator."

"That is a point." Natsuki muttered, taking a glance over at Shizuru, who was also selecting a tree for her home as well. "Why can't we just get a fake tree?"

"That's not any fun." Mai frowned with a sigh. "Where's the spirit of the season, Natsuki?"

"What spirit?" Natsuki groused. "Hacking a tree to bits just to cram it in the corner, hang weird crap on it, only to throw it away later?" Natsuki leaned on the fence that went around the entire tree lot. "How in the hell is that festive?"

"It just is!" Mai fired back. "And this tree is cute."

"It's shedding." Natsuki muttered lamely.

"You speak of them as if they're animals." Shizuru said then.

"They might as well be." Natsuki pointed to the tree Mai was insisting to have with a sigh. "Look at that."

"And if it was a mangy dog with scruffy looking fur, covered in mud, ticks and fleas, you'd still be the first one to pick it up and take it home with you." Shizuru said with a small laugh.

"Shut up." Natsuki hissed quietly. "That's not helping."

"Besides that, if you buy a fake tree, someone has to put it together." Nao's voice of reason made Natsuki sigh.

"Let me guess." Natsuki said, looking over to the redhead. "Little bits and pieces that we're going to lose before we even get the damn thing together."

"Sounds about right." Shizuru nodded. "I say you should let Mai pick the tree. You won't take any joy out of it anyway."

"Alright fine, damn it, we'll take the dilapidated tree!" Natsuki growled pulling her wallet out of her pocket, throwing it at Mai before pointing to Mikoto. "If she get's needles in my bed, I swear to god, you're both sleeping in the hall!"

"If it bothers you so much, why not just stay with me over the holidays." Shizuru mentioned, causing Natsuki to sigh.

"At this rate, I'll just move in." She meant it only as a joke, but some how, in the back of her mind, she saw the logic to that. "In any case, did you pick the tree you wanted?"

"Mikoto chose it for me." Shizuru smiled pointing to the tallest one that Mikoto was still on top of.

"And just how do you plan to get that through the front door?" Natsuki asked afraid of the answer.

"We'll carry it." Shizuru said then. "How else?"

"This is asking for trouble." Natsuki sighed, going off to find a sales person to help them with the purchases.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: I don't know why...but whenever I think of Natsuki and gift giving, I always think it would go something like this...

* * *

**December 16th**

"If I knew what to get her, I would have already gotten it." Natsuki sighed, twirling her pencil around in circles during lunch. She wasn't really hungry, and wanted nothing more than to go to sleep right there in the cafeteria. With a long, pensive sigh, she stretched. "Shizuru's hard to buy for. The thing is, she can buy whatever she wants in the first place, so, trying to think of a gift is actually pretty hard."

"Yes, Haruka's the same way." Yukino murmured from behind a fork full of salad. "She's impossible to buy for at all, which is why I'll usually make something."

"Don't you have someplace else to be?" Nao muttered, looking up from where she had been resting. "This is the black sheep table, you know that, right?"

Yukino perked up, glancing around. Yes, it was true, this table was mostly the troublemakers, yet even so, she couldn't help herself. She'd much rather be here than anyplace else. "You mean, this is the ex-HiME table." Yukino smiled. "If you haven't noticed, we're the only ones here...or those who knew of us."

"Who cares what table this is." Natsuki sighed, hitting Nao hard enough in the back of the head to force the girl back into resting. "Shut up and go back to doing whatever the hell it is that you do."

Mai shook her head at the antics. "Don't mind them, Yukino." The carrot top said pleasantly. "What kind of things do you make?"

It took Yukino a bit of thought, and time before she answered. "Hmm, well, Haruka's rich now, so sometimes it's hard to think of what suits her, you know?" Yukino sighed, nibbling her lower lip. "I suppose I just make what feels right at the time. One year, I knitted a scarf. Another, I made a sweater." With a small shake of her head, and the softest of shrugs, she pushed the wire frames back up into place. "Haruka's not very discerning as far as that goes. She gratefully accepts anything I make, but, our friendships has been strong ever since kindergarten, so it can hardly be compared to anything romantic."

"Don't you two have a thing going on?" Natsuki questioned skeptically.

"Natsuki!" Mai scolded. "You don't have to answer that." She told Yukino with a frown. "Natsuki's just prying."

"Natsuki is just pissed off, because Natsuki can't figure out what to friggin' buy!" Natsuki ranted, mocking those around her at the table, primarily Mai.

"Stupid dog." Nao jibbed. "Just buy her something out of that one porn mag you always look at."

"It's not pornography. It's art." Natsuki sighed, flipping through the pages of the one she had in front of her. "I wouldn't buy any of this for Shizuru, it just isn't right."

Nao looked up, glancing at the page Natsuki was fiddling with. "I see boobs...it's porn." Nao decided, laying back down. "She'll like any of that crap if you get it for her."

"You know, Nao has a point." Mai sighed whimsically.

"I'm not buying Shizuru underwear." Natsuki growled, closing the pages that had been keeping her occupied. "No matter how elegant and rare it is."

"Not that." Mai shot her a pointed look. "I meant, it's the thought that counts, and you've put more than enough thought into it." Having come to her own conclusions on the matter she nodded self importantly. "I would think anything you get her would make her happy."

Natsuki nodded. "Probably." She felt the weight of the paper between her fingers, and then reached into her pocket to pull out her wallet. "Well, that's not enough." She hadn't realized what little money she had in her wallet at the time, knowing she would have to stop by the bank later. While it was true that Natsuki wasn't poor by any means, she knew Shizuru had far more to her name than most. It sometimes made Natsuki nervous, times like now, when the one thing money could provide wasn't seemingly enough. "What do you buy a woman who has everything?" Natsuki whispered.

"Nothing." Nao yawned. "You strip it down into nothing, put a bow around its neck, and watch to see what happens."

Emerald eyes found lime. "That is completely disgusting." Natsuki said, shivering from the mere implication, and the fact the suggestion had come from Nao.

Even Mai couldn't help stifling a smirk. "You know, Natsuki, that just might work."

"I hate you..." Natsuki sighed, getting up and walking away from the table.

…

It was raining just hard enough to be annoying, the chilly air not quite cold enough to freeze the rain into snow. It caused Natsuki to sigh as she realized it was just a bad day to be out shopping, not that she enjoyed the task anyway. She bought her usual needs online then and picked things up later. Shopping for Shizuru's gift, however, had to be done in person. Her travel down all the main shopping strips gave her little in the way of answers, and much more of a headache than she could ever truly imagine. Her fingers were numbed by the cold metal of every door she opened, her ears thrumming with all of the banter that she couldn't block out. This was what she hated the most, and while she would be the last to admit it, she'd much rather be hiding under the covers where it was at least dry and warm.

_Might as well put a damn bow on myself at this rate._ Natsuki thought, irritation showing clearly on her face. _This one's actually soft, what's it made out of? _Now that she was in one of her more exotic stores, she found that some shops did sell bows for such fantasies. _Hm, satin...the other one's made of silk lace. Not bad, but not good either._ One glance to the other shelf had her blazing crimson in a matter of seconds. _No, leather is a bad idea._ That conclusion came quickly and she shuffled out of the store, not even bothering to look at any of her her usual stock. _This entire thing is a bad idea...what the hell was I thinking, walking in there like that? Damn it, I've gotta come up with something.  
_


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Happy belated holidays everyone!

This chapter was one of those that for the 17th and 18th I had more parties than I knew what to do with, and to be quite honest, the 18th might as well have been new years eve with the way everyone was toasting to dumb things. Then again, we had another night like that last night and now, for some god awful reason, here I am updating fan fiction at 11:10 at night since I can't sleep.

(Why we had to have another power out is BEYOND my comprehension..this is take two of trying to get this chapter up...grr...)

* * *

**December 17th/18th**

"There are just some things I don't understand when I comes to them." Natsuki sighed, giving a brief retelling of her day, and her exams, most of which had really tired her out. "Yukino's always been a little hard to figure out, she's so quiet and all, so that part of it makes sense." It was the other part that left her completely stumped. "I mean, you'd think that with all Haruka rants and raves, it wouldn't be a secret by now."

"Hm." Somehow, they'd ended up on the sofa with the laziest meal of all. A box of pizza and soda, not that Natsuki would complain, but Shizuru ate such a thing rarely. "I'm sure it depends in how you look at it." Shizuru said after some careful thought. "Are we speaking about an outsider's perspective, or an insider's one?" Shizuru asked then, after taking a sip of sweet fizzling liquid. It wasn't anything like tea, but, she also couldn't be bothered to brew anything else either. Natsuki was just too warm, and, if Shizuru could admit that she too, was entirely exhausted.

"Both." Natsuki replied, biting a slice pizza with one hand while holding Shizuru in the other, having mastered the art of eating whilst also being a human body pillow. "Do they not want people to know, or something? I never see Haruka on the campus anymore."

"Haruka can be loud, but, she's quite a bit more intelligent than most people give her credit for." Shizuru said then, basking in the feeling of Natsuki's fingertips drawing lackadaisical swirls on her back. "It's just good sense to allow people to think what they will. Rumors will always be taken with a grain of salt by the people who matter, but something spoken in the public eye can go south before anyone anticipates it." It was such reasoning that kept Shizuru from also being much more overt about her illicit relationship. "We're just reaching the level where a woman's productivity isn't being scrutinized on a corporate level, but, that doesn't mean we can simply pretend that we're the same as men." Shizuru wasn't all too worried about it, but still, she noticed the cause for concern. "Any relationship they might share is safely hidden away behind closed doors, but, I feel that's the way it should be."

_Haruka and good sense...now that's an oxymoron..._ Natsuki thought to herself, but didn't utter it. "Is that so?" Natsuki's hand stilled, her eyes growing pensive.

"Yes, of course." Shizuru said slowly. "From a purely tactical mindset, it's befitting to cater to public relations. Even if Yukino wasn't the type to prefer it that way, Haruka knows better than to speak of herself in any way that might cause undue attention." Her crimson eyes met Natsuki's. "Does that bother you?"

"Um, not really." Natsuki's voice was soft, her eyes trailing away quickly. "Should it bother me?"

"That's what I would like to know, Natsuki." Shizuru murmured. "Should it bother you, as it seems to?"

"Well, won't we be the same?" Such a question hung in the air, almost as if it had no reason to be answered. "Won't I just cause trouble for you the way things are now?"

"Who knows?" Shizuru said then, embracing Natsuki just a little tighter. "The future is never written in stone, and I am most certainly not Haruka. We both have vastly different backgrounds, not to mention capabilities. I would like to think it would be safest if we didn't air personal matters to the public, or to the media, yet on the other hand, it isn't something I intend to hide either." With a relaxed sigh Shizuru just shrugged. "A masters degree in accounting travels fairly far in life, so I'm not as concerned about weather or not I inherit the company my father intends for me to have."

"What would you do then, if you don't mind my asking?" There was the tiniest spark of interest in the question, though Natsuki pretended not to show it. She, like everyone else, had always assumed Shizuru would just follow the path ahead of her, never diverging into uncharted territory.

"Whatever I feel like doing at the time, I suppose." Shizuru shrugged unknowingly. "Natsuki, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that being fixable is not only the greatest advantage a person can have, it's also much less stressful. I'd rather wait things out and see what happens after I graduate from university. Adhering to simply one future that may not even work out the way I'd like isn't a way of opening doors, it's a way of closing them."

"Yeah." Natsuki agreed, even if only a little. "I guess that's a pretty good way to look at it." She said with a noncommittal shrug, her fingers stilling at the tips of fawn tresses. "In another, I guess I just can't be so easy going."

"If you could, I'm sure you wouldn't be so tense all of the time." Shizuru said with a small smile. "I don't think it's a problem either way."

"I'm glad you don't." Natsuki said quietly. _But I do._ She thought inwardly.

"Natsuki shouldn't frown." A thumb caressed uneven, chapped lips. "It makes her look far more grumpy than she really is."


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Yeah, I'm late on uploads (surprise, surprise) but welcome to the new year everyone...anyway, at least I have more time now to sit and relax, now that the holidays are officially over with... (more or less...)

The 19th was a fun night, but also a busy one, hence why this was so short.

* * *

**December 19****th**

"I still think that tree looks stupid." Natsuki said in passing one afternoon after stepping out of the bath, her robe tied around her body and her hair up in a towel. "We would have had better luck decorating a bush." She sighed, plucking a pine needle from the bottom of her slippers. "Speaking of, what's with the bows?" The items in question were strewn around the room, haphazard at best. Some of them dangled from the tree's limbs, but most here strewn around the room.

"Mikoto likes them." Mai said, her eyes far more focused on her cooking. "If it makes her happy, and keeps her out of trouble, more power to her."

"Right..." Natsuki replied quietly, a low grumble in her voice. She knew the girl was near obsessive when it came to random continual tasks. Mikoto took such a great joy in them, that sometimes she'd lose track of the bigger picture. "If you let her keep it up, our tree won't even be a tree...it'll be a ball of ribbon." Natsuki didn't even bother to mention what the rest of the room would look like either, and only untied the one that was around the handle of her nightstand, plopping it onto the floor with the rest of the multicolored mess.

"At least it would have served us well." Mai said then, dispensing just a little more salt into the boiling water. "Think of it this way, Mikoto hasn't harassed you since we bought it."

"She still somehow manages to find her way into my bed." Once she was sure Mai wasn't going to turn around, she undid her robe quickly so she could toss on a shirt and a pair of boxers, the latter merely to cover herself up modestly while she lazed about. She looked outside, finding the gloomy day and downpour of rain to be a complete thorn in her side. "That's not going to let up, will it?"

"The forecast said it would be like this for most of the day and into the night." Mai said after glancing out of the window to see for herself. "It's a good day to catch up on homework."

"Well, that's just crappy." Natsuki hadn't any other choice, and pulled out her laptop. She had planned to go shopping again today, but there was no way she would go out in that mess. "Hey Mai, what do you plan on getting for Nao?" The question was tentative, and her worry was masked by fervent typing.

"We agreed not to do gifts this year." As the carrot top set the table, she also took the time to place Natsuki's bowl in front of her. "I'm trying to help pay for Takumi's expenses, and Nao's got her mother to worry about." As if that alone was enough, she took a chance to look at Natsuki's computer, only to have the girl hide the screen from view, annoyed emerald eyes meeting Mai's own. "Have you decided what to get for Shizuru?"

"No, but, at the same time, I'm not really sure she would want anything." Natsuki muttered, knowing that Mai could hear the soft lament in Natsuki's voice. "Shizuru's weird anyway." Natsuki went on, thinking about all of Shizuru's oddities, of which there were a great many. "I think if I could figure her out, I'd understand what she would like better." With a shrug, Natsuki realized that was an effort that would be in vain. Her eyes returned to the window, and the sleet that was draining down from the sky, a bleak sight at best. "I just don't get why..." Natsuki said to herself then, just a little louder than she'd meant to.

Mai was kind enough to ignore the vocal question, knowing it hadn't been intended for her ears. Then, with a thoughtful humming, she went back to cleaning the small kitchenette offering the older girl the moment of quiet she obviously needed. When Natsuki's toiling became too much, Mai finally cracked. "Just ask her, point blank." Mai said then, turning to lean on the counter, huffing out a small breath in annoyance. "It isn't a hard question Natsuki."

"That would really make me look cool." Natsuki groused then, shaking her head in refusal. "I'm not doing that."

"Maybe she doesn't want anything." Mai said smoothly, ignoring the glare she'd received. "Maybe, Shizuru has everything she wants in the first place. Maybe there isn't anything you can get her that would be fitting, because you've already made Shizuru happy by just being with her." Her voice got soft then, a gentle sigh slipping from her lips. "I don't know her very well, not like you do, so maybe I'm wrong." She went to go sit at the low table, grabbing her chopsticks and her hot bowl of noodles. "It just seems like, if Shizuru was the type of person to expect amazing gifts on ceremony, she'd be with someone else..."

"Just what in the hell is that supposed to mean?" Natsuki was indignant enough to grab her laptop, and start pushing keys with a renewed vengeance.

"It means exactly as it sounds." Mai shook her head. "Come on Natsuki, you're loyal, and you've got a good heart. Shizuru knows that when it comes down to the wire, she can really rely on you...but, when it comes to frivolous stuff like this, well, let's just say it isn't your strong suit."


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: The 20th was one of those stare out of the window all day, sort of days. It was snowing fairly hard, and it was chilly enough to make me want to huddle under the blankets all day with hot chocolate and a good movie, which is exactly what I did...it wasn't until late at night that I actually went outside, and that's only because we went down town to go ice skating, which by the way, I'm really bad at. Anyway, by the time I actually got around to typing this, it was really late, and my mind was off in one of those stupid la-la lands of sorts.

* * *

**December 20th**

She should have been back at the dorm, dealing with the latest and greatest issue that was currently buzzing about the building in waves. Someone, though the administration didn't know who, had covered the front hallway with snow that had long since melted. It had Nao written all over it, but, even if Natsuki knew that, she was one of the many students who took a small humor in the harmless event, although many teachers thought otherwise.

The dorm had strict rules about curfew, and there were only a handful of students that would not only break curfew, but make a point to announce they they did. Nao was one of those girls. It wasn't that Natsuki minded, she willingly broke every moment of every day as well...still, she was sure Nao would get caught sooner or later. It was only a matter of time, after all, attendance records and security cameras told all.

Natsuki was still a victim to the latter, just as she had always been. The only problem was, now that Shizuru was off campus, Natsuki had been having to rely on Yukino and Midori more than she would have liked to keep her sneaking away at night under wraps.

The thought that anyone knew where she went so often didn't sit easy with her. Among the small HiME group, she was sure they murmured about it. No one dated Shizuru Fujino without gathering attention from everyone. It only made matters worse with the entire school population making a frenzy of it. Natsuki reclined back on the sofa, wondering what had prompted Shizuru to buy the luxurious leather pieces that sat in the formal living and dinning space. The smooth fabric was softer than Natsuki's own biking leathers, but, she suspected that alone was the cause.

_I really should just move in..._ Natsuki considered deeply. _It isn't good for her, living in this house all by herself. _She drummed her fingers on the fabric before pushing herself up to walk around the table. It was oval, made of glass, a thin black metal frame surrounded it. _Shizuru's so used to structure in her life, she even lives in the idea of it._ The fact was made even more apparent when she ran her hand across the high back of one of the dining chairs. _There isn't any end to it, is there? Even the chairs were made to match the sofa..._

It didn't end in the living room, nor the kitchen that was comprised of the best appliances money could buy. The casual living room was cozy at least, but even that lacked any true warmth. Photo's gave the illusion of a well worn home, filled with all of the happiness one could expect, but even that said something grave about the matter. _There's no use hiding it, she's still alone._ Natsuki thought, finally admitting to herself that Shizuru only had a guest room out of pretense, no one ever used it. _Just like no one ever uses that stupid dinning room either. We eat in front of the television all the time..._ It made Natsuki bitter just to think about it.

"Natsuki shouldn't frown." Shizuru said softly, leaning on the door frame to the living room, wearing far less than Natsuki expected that she would. "That's better, although, now she's catching flies."

"Yeah, whatever." Natsuki didn't dare look up again, knowing her cheeks were already hot enough, despite that, she couldn't help the image playing in her mind. "I didn't think that's what you meant..."

"Well I did say I needed an expert on the topic." Shizuru said softly, she had tied her robe back up, if only to keep Natsuki from bolting entirely. "Did you like what you saw?" Shizuru asked Natsuki then, trying to coax those shy emerald eyes away from the floor.

"You should know enough about underwear." Natsuki said softly, her hands gripping the edge of the sofa. "So, I'm not sure why you asked me what I thought..." Her voice got quieter and quieter, and she found herself needing to swallow hard. "I'm hardly an expert." She finally forced herself to say, though that wasn't at all the issue, and Shizuru knew it.

"This from a woman who has a locked box of vintage pieces dating back several hundred years." Shizuru replied, knowing just what Natsuki kept under lock and key. "If I remember correctly, you also have a few lacy numbers that cover far less."

"Well, yeah, but..." Natsuki had to take a breath. "It isn't like I look at anyone in them...they're collection pieces, not wearable ones." If she could keep the topic well away from her own discomfort, she could find some stable ground, and now that she found it, she clung to it, least she be tossed back into murky waters. "I certainly didn't think that you'd-" Natsuki cut herself off as soon as she thought of just what lay underneath the robe. Even the terrycloth alone was enough to send most people into a fit, because it was simple, white, and so unlike most of the things Shizuru would normally wear.

"That I'd what, Natsuki?" Shizuru edged in closer, her lips lingering near Natsuki's ear, breathing hotly. "My girlfriend has a high standard when it comes to this sort of thing, it only makes sense to see that my purchases meet her approval."

Natsuki gulped, knowing this was just gentle tease, and possibly a veiled hope into provoking something more. Still, even if she knew that, she couldn't force her brain back into gear, the fog still sat there, lingering. _This is worse than when she barges in on me when I'm taking a bath..._ Natsuki thought, a slow realization dawning on her. _I know she's trying to break me in and get me used to this sort of thing, but... _She didn't know what to say as she brought her hand up to cup Shizuru's face, pulling back to meet Shizuru's eyes with her own. "That's not fair." Natsuki said earnestly. The both knew the hidden fear that still lingered in the depths of Shizuru's heart, one that would likely always remain in some form or another.

"You're right." Shizuru said quietly, agreeing as she felt Natsuki embrace her. "Feelings usually aren't."

_Why does she always..._ Natsuki bit back the thought. "Idiot." Natsuki grumbled softly, tightening her hold just a little bit as her finger slipped through fawn tresses, bringing Shizuru in for a kiss.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: On the 21st I was snowed in...well, iced in, so it was the same basic thing. The entire street with nothing but ice, leading to the neighborhood kids putting on the flattest soled shoes they could find and playing hockey on the ice in front of the house... it was a good inch and a half thick, some of us adults got in on the fun too. I was born and raised in the same house, so, we did that a lot growing up. It was nice to see that the younger generation actually wanted to leave the house, what with all the technology we have in this day and age.

* * *

**December 21st**

"I don't care how the hell you do it!" Natsuki growled, a heated dispute in the lunch room was something she needed, if only to blow off steam. "Just keep her away from the god damned house." Natsuki hissed between gritted teeth. "It can't be that hard, can it?"

"With Shizuru involved, I don't know, I don't care to know, and I don't want to find out." Nao shrugged, toying with her fingernails, trying to decide if she should paint them or not. She often wasn't fond of color, but, occasionally, she'd break the norm. "I don't see why it's a big deal anyway. You're taking things too hard."

"Because it is a big deal, jackass." Natsuki sighed deeply. "Look, just keep her distracted, okay?"

"This could get messy." Mai finally said, having listened to the bantering for long enough. "Why don't I keep Shizuru occupied for a few hours, I'm sure I'd do a better job of it."

"Because I need you with me." Natsuki blurted all too quickly. She looked around, and thankfully most of the students were ignoring her, and the others were far enough away, they couldn't hear anything anyway. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, about what to get Shizuru for Christmas, but then I realized, I can't buy her anything...and even if I could, there isn't any point to it." Her mind was stuck on that table, that large but empty kitchen...that entire perfect little world, that was so far away from the truth. "If I bought her anything at all, it would just be another wordless thing that sat silently someplace..."

Nao bit back a snide remark at the guilty look in Natsuki's eyes. One glance at Mai, and Nao forced herself to sigh. "Shit, you are a stupid mutt." Even as Nao said that, licking her lips and going back to study her fingernails, she knew exactly what Natsuki wanted to say. "So, what's eating you so damn bad?"

"I never noticed it before." Natsuki said honestly. "But, to be honest, I never lived with anyone else before...not since I lost mom." Now, Natsuki knew how irreplaceable the noise of another human being was. "She's just alone all the time..." Natsuki said, looking over to Mai. "The house is bigger than our dorm...we have three people in that little space, and Shizuru's one person in that house all on her own." It boggled Natsuki's mind. As much as she craved more space, she would never wish such emptiness on anyone. "She might not mind it, but, she probably doesn't realize how lonely it really is." With a determined look in Natsuki's eyes she nibbled her lower lip thoughtfully. "I want to change that before she notices."

"That's great...good luck with that." Nao answered, only half listening.

"I need you're help." Natsuki pressed again, looking at the redhead. "Come on, Nao, just this once, try to be nice to her..."

"I don't particularly care what she does." Nao said, looking up at Natsuki. "I don't care how lonely she thinks she is, either." There was one thing Nao did care about, however, and that was returning favors. Natsuki was more than deserving of one, Nao knew, but this was a lot to ask for. "I just gotta keep her away from the house, right?"

"Don't fight with her, or upset her either." Natsuki said, a small twinge of hope in her eyes.

"You owe me big..." Nao said then, her words a concrete agreement.

….

Later that afternoon, they began to put Natsuki's plan into action. "She's over thinking this." Nao mumbled later that afternoon, hiding in the nearest bush of shrubs. "I get that Natsuki wants to be romantic or something, but really, this is just completely stupid. She can do better than this."

"It's not stupid...it's sweet." Mai answered wistfully.

That caused a low growl to slip from Nao's throat. "I'm spying on Shizuru, waiting for her to come home so I can drag her back out into this cold weather...that's stupid." Nao retorted dryly, a shiver making its way into her voice. "Why am I doing this?"

"Because Natsuki asked you to." Mai replied back into the phone.

"That stupid mutt tells me to do a lot of things." Nao sighed, both bored and cold. "It doesn't mean that I have to do them."

"A friend asked you to do something for her, and that's why you're hiding." Mai said sternly. "Just be nice enough to do this one thing...it's for Natsuki."

"Well, I guess I can give you that." Nao muttered, trying to breathe hot hair into her hands. "It's a crappy one, but it's a reason."

Nao took a chance to take a look on the inside of the house...it was dark, and none of the lights were on. Even the pine tree, dressed simply in lights, seemed to be sleeping. "Whoa, that's totally creepy." Nao muttered.

"What is?" Mai asked, a distinct crinkling on Nao's end told Mai that the girl was fidgeting around with something.

"The house." Nao said quietly in a hiss, as if she might be caught. She looked back at the empty street before peering into the window once more. "It's so damn perfect, it's downright creepy." Nao didn't bother to mention the details, knowing Mai was likely to see them sooner rather than later. "So what, Natsuki thinks that if she makes a home made dinner everything will change?"

"You know it goes deeper than that." Mai shot back, reminder hitting home. "It probably goes deeper than Natsuki even understands."

"How dumb do you have to be?" The question was mean, but not full of bitterness that Mai would usually expect. "I don't know why I let you two talk me into this crap, but when I get back to the dorm, I expect something good out of this."

"Just let us know when you've gotten her away from the house." Mai ordered, sternly. "And be nice...I don't want to hear about any unpleasantness on your behalf."

"Oh, yeah...take the fun right out of it." Still, Nao had made an agreement, she wouldn't back down now. "Don't worry about my end of things, just make sure Natsuki doesn't start a fire."


End file.
